I am singing my song now!!!!!!

Hello to everyone who chooses to read my blog!!!  How are you?

First of all apologies for not posting anything last week!  It slipped my mind and I need to be consistent!

I don’t know what to write about, so it will be whatever comes into my mind!  It’s not been the most productive two weeks if I am honest, but I have felt happy about who I is at this moment in time.  I know I will be what I want to be and forget the rest!

So what has happened these passed two week you ask……well…..

I applied for an internal position at work, I didn’t get it but I am happy with that because I know God is always watching out for me, so my time will come.  Yes I believe when an opportunity comes your way you should grab it with both hands and make the most of it, but I also think that God will bring it your way because it is all about the patience.

BE HUMBLE AND BE GREAT

So, I have also just been working nearly everyday and I heard all about the royal family!  What’s been going on mayn!!!  First Harry and too much flesh (shall I say) and now Kate and Will!!!  French close wasn’t it?  Isn’t it weird how like when one thing happens in the news, then more stories relating to the same topic happen?  I swear down that the media plan all this!  It can’t be a coincidence…..bring on these conspiracy theories!  I won’t don them because we will be here all night then! 

Can I say one thing…..please everyone can we just take some time out and just have a thought for our fallen brothers and sisters around the world.  I am soo grateful for what I have in this life and I will always cherish every second.

Moving on…..I need to get back to my health diet plan man!  But as I said I am enjoying who I is right now as well.  Last time I blogged I mentioned #FatDiaries.  I will attach my plan that I made which worked for me, for free obvi (obviously) and have a read, pass it on, tweet about it (my twitter name….@khalnawaz) question it even, but I am telling you from 13st, I got down to 11st6lb!  That was in 2 months!  I will get to that by November I hope!  So read it if you have time!!!!!

Oh yhe, I went to my old school after like 6 years!!!  OMG it was different!  I hardly recognised it!  As I was walking around, I was thinking I could have done better!  I truly believe the school you go to makes a certain amount of the person you grow to be (if that makes any sense)!  But I said to myself, no regrets at all, none…..and omg the canteen and toilets! Wow!!!  So proud of Barr Beacon School!

I also have just decided right this minute that I need to make notes about what I want to write about, because sometimes my memory is so so so bad!  I decide that I am not giving up on my media dream job!  I have a few options……

1. I could be a presenter!  For a talk show, maybe even like helping people with their problems? OR I could talk about anything and everything! 
2. A social media expert.  Working for a company and I am in charge of their social media!  And this does include blogging!
3. Start my own reality TV show…..but not trashy, where we fake the scenes!  I will do the real stuff.  The reality TV show will be about me and the camera follows me around my everyday activity.
4. Working in a creative ideas team!  Coming up with new show ideas, dramas, features for a channel.

So yhe I have a few options….just need to go out there and get it!!!!

So that’s what I have been up to so far….I don’t want to write mega loads like before but I will write until I have said what I need to say!  Also I am going to do something different near to Christmas that I would never really do on my ones (that means on my own).  I am so excited, scared, but life is short!

I will leave you with this though…..

No matter what anyone says, because people do have an opinion on you and its not always positive, all you need to do is say ok and then……JUST LIVE YOUR LIFE!  Because that all you can do, don’t let no one put you down and talk to you in a way which you do not deserve ya get me!

Peace and lets improve the world we live in!!! 

The Week.....

This week has been something different.

I believe that God has something planned for us all in this world.  I also believe I have my own mind and I make the choices I make.  This week I have questioned a lot of things about myself and what will make me happy.

Since I have been away from the blogging world I have changed.  I have seen what I can do.  For example designing the first #RDGAI vest…hand made as well. I have seen what the world has to offer and what I can actually do.  But I want to talk about now and what’s going on because I know I will reminisce as I continue to blog later on…..

So this week it has been great weather hasn’t it?.......

I think I have lost myself and what I am.  I go to work and I actually have a good time and when I am around people I feel ok but when I am with my own thoughts I feel pathetic.  Why…… because a few months ago I went on this diet I kind of created #FatDiaries which is a healthy diet because it includes exercise and encourages healthy living AND I felt good about me and a little bit more confident in myself slightly I would say.

There is a point to why I am telling you this in case you’re thinking what’s the point to this……

So when I reached my target weight the point of the diet is to continue with the exercise regime and slowly come off the diet but still encourage healthy living/eating.  AND then Ramadhan (the blessed month in the Islamic calendar where you fast during sunrise till sunset for 30 days) came around and obvi this interrupted my diet because of hunger and less time to do things and when you’re hungry YOU ARE HUNGRY and there’s no patience left for carb counting.

I said to myself after Ramadhan I would go back on to my exercise regime and everything will go back to normal……..IT HAS NOT WORKED OUT THIS WAY.

This week I have felt it all.  I felt disgusting and uncomfortable in my skin.  I didn’t lose weight to gain it again!  The whole point of doing #FatDiaries was so I could lose weight for Wireless Festival 2012! My first festival!  I have this week become obsessed with wanting to be how I can describe Russell Brand thin (please don’t mock me).

I felt low that I just kept on eating more and more.  Everyone says I am fine and healthy but I don’t think understand what I see.  I realise after today (because today all I have done is chilled in my room and watched loads of films and just chilled and forgot about everything else) that I don’t want to be Russell Brand thin but I want to lose more weight and I want to do it for myself.  Like all I see is like thin people around me and that made me feel worse.

What you have to understand is that I love food so I could never just starve myself because food is too good.  The whole point of #RDGAI was to stick to the people who said this is perfect and create my own fashion and rock it the way I want to Rock it.  And I can say right now I truly feel ashamed of myself for thinking that thin is the way forward and that will solve all my problems.  I have even said I would rather be thin and poor than fat and rich.  I think it’s a lot of celebrity culture and lifestyle that makes me want to be this way.

I forgot that my aim was to be healthy rather than thin but I am not going to lie to you, I still want to be slim because I feel I will feel better about myself.  Other may disagree and tell me I am fine.  I forgot everything until I sat in the garden to have my lunch and thought God has given me everything and I want more.  My struggle this week has been a mental struggle and I can’t control my mind and when I feel my face will show what I feel.  I have considered liposuction, but what is perfect?

Surely God made me perfect…….

I am not saying I feel fantastic after today but I am saying that my thoughts are not as destructive on myself.  When I am left in my own company, I think deeply.  Yess looking after your body is important, everyone should be healthy but what differs with me is my version of healthy.  I think seeing people with their perfect bodies and the media’s portrayal of the everyday body has taken me away from what I thought was real.  I should appreciate I have the option to be fat or thin where there are children who just want water and don’t even have that necessity.

I have seen for myself how important God is for me in my life.  I have prayed before I have gone to work and my day has been just great.  So what I am going to concentrate on is my faith and my health.  I am conscience (hope I spelt that right) of who I am and that if I am perfect then I will be accepted.  BUT I have seen that people like me because of who I is, not what I look like.

So this is my blog and these are my goals:

·        Get Healthy

·        Don’t forget what I stand for

·        AND be happy

Thank you for reading this blog because it means a lot to me to just express myself.  If at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself off, say Bismillah and try again…..

  

Just so you know.........

OK...... so I am back!!!  After a year!


So what to expect....  I don't know, on a new hype now so its all about RDGAI! whats that you ask well all will be revealed! All these technologies someones got to use them!

I have just got a new job and new projects on the horizon, but the most important thing for me is to stay grounded and be humble because what goes around comes back around.....

By following my blogs you will see my views on life and the world surrounding me because some say it is all about me, but I say everything you do will impact me in such a big way!

I will talk about new music, new stuff, new discoveries and new designs and I will always rock this ish like fashion!

So please be patient and everything will be revealed!


Always Love God 


ps - I am still learning new things about this blog business so please feel free to help me with improvements to my blog page !